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Men signal to women that there are other women interested in them all the time. They do this to raise an interest level, make themselves appear valuable and to try to entice women to compete for their affections by playing on their insecurities and the jealousy that another woman in the picture brings up. The only difference is that I believe women should be up front about it, while most men tend to deliver the message in mysterious, vague ways like hiding their phones, lying and saying it's a friend calling when it's a woman, being vague about where they were at or who they were with, and saying things like,"she's just a friend" when in reality, she's a woman he's dated or is dating to a degree, etc. You ask:"Is this really the formula to a stable and lasting relationship? " I'd say in the early stages, it's a bit too soon to be considering ANY of that. I believe in the early days, things should remain casual. Relationship talk should only come in later stages, when both parties agree that they're developing true feelings for one another. Too many women jump the gun when dating. They signal right away that they're committed, even if he's not. They signal right away they want something serious, even if he doesn't or is still undecided. And when they do this, and the guy decides he's not that interested and leaves, they've already gone and placed all their eggs in his basket and get burned because of it. When the man decides this isn't for him and he doesn't want to take it any further, the woman has no other options to turn to because she's only been casually dating one man him. While he's free to continue exploring his options because during the casual dating period, he's also been casually dating others that he's remained in contact with. So the man doesn't skip a beat while the woman is left standing all alone, to start from square one again. Personally, I don't believe any committments should be made prematurely during the casual dating period. Those committments should only take place when both parties agree that they're developing feelings for one another and seek exclusivity from one another. And it's also the reason I'm against sleeping with a man during the casual dating period. That's how women get hurt. Giving too much, too soon, before anyone is even asking for anything. Same Anon. that wrote long commentYou don't seem to be taking into account the other side of things. It's as if you're trying to say that all the scarring and pain that exists between the two genders is completely one sided or mostly done by men to women. Could it be that you're still harboring a grudge against a member or two of the male gender? By the way, the word"aggressor" is used when there is a conflict or war and blame is to be put somewhere. I've lived in NYC for more than 12 years, I've lived in different countries and states for a time as well and I have NO CLUE where one can find these women that are the"aggressors" as you say. The women that approach men are a very small minority, in my opinion. Especially, the younger gens. How does it have nothing to do with controlling the other person when you suggest"creating tension"? To artificially predispose the other person towards yourself. Do you really believe that one can achieve something real by being disingenuous? Also, you never addressed a study I pointed out which shows that women know how they feel towards a man earlier than men do about women. This makes it easier and more natural for women to approach men. Read on, I'm pretty sure that last part made you cringe a littlePerhaps, instead of suggesting that women curb their emotions and"control" themselves, one should be suggesting that they be less naive and learn to read the obvious signs a guy gives off when he doesn't want anything serious from them. I can't speak for other guys, but for me it's an instant repulsion if a woman is juggling several men at once and even more so if she's fucking some of them while at the same time trying to"develop real feelings for one of them. "More so, you have to be dishonest to some degree to keep these worlds from colliding and to avoid unpleasant/awkward situations.

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