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I was vulnerable and had to toughen up. I wanted to love freely but now needed a guard in place. I wanted to reach out to people and help them, but instead, I had to learn to pull back and be suspiscious. Trust me, my brother. . . To answer the second question:"Do you think it is a"turn on" for a man when you make the impression that you are also seeing others? Is this really the formula to a stable and lasting relationship? "I could pose the same exact question in response. Do you think it's a turn on when a man signals he's casually dating others? Maybe not but men do it all the time. The reality is that in the early days of dating, prior to any established commitments, it's everyones right to explore their options. Men signal to women that there are other women interested in them all the time. They do this to raise an interest level, make themselves appear valuable and to try to entice women to compete for their affections by playing on their insecurities and the jealousy that another woman in the picture brings up. The only difference is that I believe women should be up front about it, while most men tend to deliver the message in mysterious, vague ways like hiding their phones, lying and saying it's a friend calling when it's a woman, being vague about where they were at or who they were with, and saying things like,"she's just a friend" when in reality, she's a woman he's dated or is dating to a degree, etc. You ask:"Is this really the formula to a stable and lasting relationship? " I'd say in the early stages, it's a bit too soon to be considering ANY of that. I believe in the early days, things should remain casual. Relationship talk should only come in later stages, when both parties agree that they're developing true feelings for one another. Too many women jump the gun when dating. They signal right away that they're committed, even if he's not. They signal right away they want something serious, even if he doesn't or is still undecided. And when they do this, and the guy decides he's not that interested and leaves, they've already gone and placed all their eggs in his basket and get burned because of it. When the man decides this isn't for him and he doesn't want to take it any further, the woman has no other options to turn to because she's only been casually dating one man him. While he's free to continue exploring his options because during the casual dating period, he's also been casually dating others that he's remained in contact with. So the man doesn't skip a beat while the woman is left standing all alone, to start from square one again. Personally, I don't believe any committments should be made prematurely during the casual dating period. Those committments should only take place when both parties agree that they're developing feelings for one another and seek exclusivity from one another. And it's also the reason I'm against sleeping with a man during the casual dating period. That's how women get hurt. Giving too much, too soon, before anyone is even asking for anything. Same Anon. that wrote long commentYou don't seem to be taking into account the other side of things. It's as if you're trying to say that all the scarring and pain that exists between the two genders is completely one sided or mostly done by men to women. Could it be that you're still harboring a grudge against a member or two of the male gender? By the way, the word"aggressor" is used when there is a conflict or war and blame is to be put somewhere. I've lived in NYC for more than 12 years, I've lived in different countries and states for a time as well and I have NO CLUE where one can find these women that are the"aggressors" as you say. The women that approach men are a very small minority, in my opinion. Especially, the younger gens. How does it have nothing to do with controlling the other person when you suggest"creating tension"? To artificially predispose the other person towards yourself. Do you really believe that one can achieve something real by being disingenuous? Also, you never addressed a study I pointed out which shows that women know how they feel towards a man earlier than men do about women.
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I look at it as radio waves. ever get a song that pops into your head, turn on the radio and there it is playing? In a sense we are"tuning in" to that information, just like a radio produces waves. same principle with dreams. just a less threatening level that our brains can handle. There is one occasion that I will never forget, I grew up in Spain and now leave in the Uk. Three months before I came to the Uk I would have never imagined that I would find myself here, I dreamt that I was standing looking at a building kids playing around me speaking a language I didn't recognize, I never recalled this deja vu until three months later I find myself in the Uk looking at the same building which was my secondary school with the same kids playing around wearing the same unifors I saw saying the same things I was hearing in the dream, I only remembered when I was there in the same position. Then I knew that I had been there before. Hi Im 13 years old I have been having this for a long time now I am not sure why but I have, I am deciding to write about my dreams every time I now wake up and do you think there is any connection with space and time , as I can have shorter and longer visions in my sleep that I will remember then later maybe 2 months will see. I often have deja Vu when standing still or day dreaming or sleeping do you know what causes this and Thank you for this Article :I see the logic behind you stating that what we want to be true often does manifest itself. This is called projection when we subconsciously influence our views or outcome of certain events because we already believe it to be fact. I still have to disagree with you about dreams only being about the past, however. Some minds have room to dream of the future after working out the past. The dream I had was no projection at one point I stood in the exact location, saw the same objects and had the same feeling I had in my dream, it was identical. That's when I realized the dream was going to come true. That's a very wise decision to write down your dreams. You are probably having deja vu frequently because you have developed your dream recall skills by paying attention to your dreams and writing them down. As to the cause, I really cannot say. I just know from mine and others experience that the more you pay attention and develop this skill, the more frequently deja vu can occur. My dreams and visions come to pass all of the time; the sad thing is. . .
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As to the cause, I really cannot say. I just know from mine and others experience that the more you pay attention and develop this skill, the more frequently deja vu can occur. My dreams and visions come to pass all of the time; the sad thing is. . . is that it is usually the bad dreams that come true.
Anyway, the next day I replied to his 3am text and said:"you texted me 'you only live once' to brag about having crazy sex with that crazy guy? Jealous. Now that I know you're rude, at least try to redeem your insolence and don't be greedy, hook a girl up". It was meant as a total joke from our earlier convo and he just replied:"rude" with a sad face. I apologized twice becasue I felt bad and thought he knew it was supposed to be a joke and now I haven't heard from him since. What's up with this guy? Did I mess up? Is he a flake? Is he just playing games and trying to maniuplate me? I'm so confused because I'm actaully interested in him. sorry this is so long. Any insight would be great. Thanks. @Anonymous Dec. 2 8:07PM,Honey, I happen to think that response was beautiful, LOL! Here's the deal, he was a punk. He wanted sex, not a relationship, hence the early AM booty call texts attempting to lure you into that.
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