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somehow I feel some relief from sharing this with an interested and experienced community of my peers. I have had this a few times now, but mine are quite short, for example: the other day My suitcase rolled over a clear, plastic water bottle at the air port, I looked down and saw it, the my mum said"Leave it, it is not ours". a couple months ago I experienced this in a dream, but I did not remember colours or peoples faces or if it was my suitcase, so I dismissed it as a strange dream, but then it happened and I stood then stunned as it happened and I remembered the dream. This is the forth time this has happened and they are spaced from 2 months to 9 months.
But deep down inside, he doesn't feel good about himself and he lacks self esteem. As a result, he overcompensates for his feeling of being"less" somehow by pretending to be more that he really is. But his insecurity shows in his actions and his inability to face you after a kiss or pick up the phone to see if you're going to be where he is that night. He can't man up, so he has his friend do it for him. And just a word to the wise here, it's been my experience that the more insecure a guy is, the greater the chances of him being a cheat. Again, men who are insecure about themselves and feel like"less" than other men need lots of attention to make themselves feel good about themselves. As a result, any time they get attention from a woman, they take full advantage of it. Whether they're in a relationship or not. Because it helps them to feel manly and important. I think insecure guys are a very dangerous type to date, personally. They play games, they're selfish, they're arrogant, they string lots of women along and then they bail on you. So if I were you, I'd give Guy A more of my time than Guy B. Hi Mirror Im very confused right now. Ive been on 4 dates with this guy i met online hes a taurusWhen im with him hes very affectionate, continually kissing my forehead, cuddles, holding hands etc But he hardly texts, when he does its always a nice long message but i havent heard from him since tuesday and he asked me what id been up to so I obviously replied but nothing back : I foolishly messaged him on whatsapp on thursday to see if he wanted to do something at the weekend as last weekend he was busy but said he would love to see me. Hes read my message but hasnt replied. What do i do now? @Anonymous,Well first of all, I have to ask why are YOU asking a MAN out on a date? And why are YOU contacting a MAN? Do you think you're not good enough to be treated nicely? Do you think a guy won't ask you out? Do you not have faith in yourself that you're worth it? Men pick up on how a woman values herself. And when a woman behaves as if she has to hunt a man down they pick up on that. They say,"Hmm, she asks me out. She contacts me. No one else must want her. She must be desperate. I'm not sure if I want her now either. "It's a huge turnoff. By doing that, you're always going to wonder if the guy genuinely likes you or not. And you're also pursuing the man, which is never a good thing. When you disrespect yourself, it invites poor treatment from men and they tend to disrespect you. And the best way to know if a man likes you or not, is if he:1 contact you2 asks you out3 makes time for you4 treats you like a ladyIf you're behaving as the man then how is the man going to be a man here? And how are you EVER going to know if he genuinely likes you or not if you don't let him PROVE it? Because here's the reality. When a woman offers herself up on a platter to a man he WIll sleep with her, whether he really likes her or not. So in essence, you're setting yourself up for a heart break here, and to be used. Because when you offer yourself up like that, he'll take you up on those offers on occasion but then he'll disappear. Why? Because he was only half interested in the first place. But you didn't have the chance to figure that out first to avoid being hurt because you're behaving as the man here, instead of letting him BE the man and PROVE he's genuinely interested. You're going to bring a world of hurt onto yourself by behaving like that. And you deserve to be treated nicely and"courted" by a man so stop being the aggressor and let HIM do that. And now, you're feeling foolish because he's blowing you off. But the reality is, you've done this to yourself, you've put yourself in this position, by being the pursuer here, instead of the way mother nature intended it which is the other way around.
This isn't real. It's not taking place in the real world, it's only taking place online. Chances are, you'll never be able to be together or even meet. So don't put too much of your energy into thinking about something that has very little chance of ever becoming real. Focus on meeting someone in real life, in your part of the world that you can actually have a real relationship with. Hi MOA, This is the Anonymous girl from Nov 25th, 1:43 pm.
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Thanks for contributing! Hi M. o. A ! Thanks ! your writing style is ace and you have really helped me tough out the last couple of days! So true what you say about controlling yourself. I saw a guy a few times a few weeks ago and fell hard. things seemed possibly great then nothing! I haven't dated in ages and was totally unprepared I hadn't thought about rules or the slightest game plan . I certainly wasn't ready for the pain of meeting someone I really liked who then shattered my carefreeness. I have been reading every dating article in sight for advice yours is without a doubt the best at helping me hold off from contacting him. 3 weeks later he writes to me. ego boost check in I'm guessing. telling meas you predict where he has been. but not asking to see me.
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A few days back, I visited my hometown and met him. We met alone and I somehow spoke about"How I wanted a guy who believed in love. How much I believed in Love". Which I guess was a big mistake cause ever since then he has started ignoring my messages. His bday was on the 23rd of this month, so I made a special card for his birthday we stay in different cities. He saw that and messaged me saying"Thanks a lot! That was very special what you did on this birthday. : Thanks for always being there :". And I also tried wishing him for his birthday twice, but both the times he didn't pick up my call. All this is very confusing. He has always been a very sincere and genuine guy. And I know this for a fact.
Anyways, I will keep you updated. And thanks once again. Regards and love,Friendly Girl :Hi there I've been reading your posts and I'm really impressed with your advice. I'm wondering if you can shed some light on my current situ: I met a younger guy at a bar 2
things I don't normally ever get myself into but we really clicked. I always let him initiate the contact. We had a good first date and he continued to text me the
following days, he would text me every day. Come the weekend though, he tried getting me to come over to his place at 2:30am. I didn't respond and the next day said that I was insulted and confirms why I usually avoid younger guys but that I did like him and was attracted to him but that I wasn't a booty call so if he wanted to continue to get to know me, cool, if not, also cool. He just kinda
laughed it off but he continued to text me the following week. He also didn't ask for a second date and I know that if a guy's really into me, they're booking date 2 as soon as they can.
Through all of our contact which has been going on just 3 weeks, I've always let him initate contact.
He has always been a very sincere and genuine guy. And I know this for a fact. So his this behavior confuses me and I really really love him, so I do not know what to do. Help. Hey mirror, this guy flirts with me so why hasn't he asked for my number? This situation has beengoing on for two months sinc we first me,once a week at church or when I see him at cultural events parties, weddings,etc. At church today he sort of squeezed my hand when we said hi to each other, but at the same time I was passing and I figured he'd try to stop me to finally ask for my number. Even as I was at a event today for a friend, he and his brother were seated right near my table and he only talked to me as he saw that I was about to leave! But he still didnt ask for my number Ugh! I dont understand why he’s flirty long hugs when he sees me etc Should I just ignore him completely at church or what? I’m so tired of emotionally unavailable men. My friends tells me if he hasn't asked he's probably has a gf or not interested. idkk@Anonymous,Hmm, I tend to agree with your friend here. He's either a creeper LOL, or he's taken and possibly not interested to that extent. It's a tough call. But one thing you can be sure of, men go after what they want. If he is interested, he'll hint about getting together sometime or something to that effect. If he does that, give him your number and say,"Yea, that'd be great. Here's my number, call me. "Play it by ear and see what happens is all . . Hi Mirror, so I decided to ignore that"Guy B" I told you about. Felt great! Whats funny is that he just sent me a text message around 10pm ugh booty hour saying"Hey, u ok? " Honestly I feel like this guy realized that I haven't been giving him any attention lately. Just wish he knew why I distanced myself in the first place Big flirt,tried to play me, and Insecure like u said. My question is that do u think he's only contacting me bc he feels guilty? Should I keep ignoring him until he actually calls to see my side of the story? @Anonymous Nov. 27, 10:13PM,No, I don't think this is guilt. This is"no contact" working. LOL, this is how it works. Strange thing is, women can use NC on a man they don't care for, no problem. And then it works like a charm on a guy they don't want pursuing them, LOL. But because women carry such a fear of losing a man they like they have little faith in themselves that they're worth a man pursuing, they sell themselves short, they hesitate to use NC on a man they like so instead, he uses it on them and the woman pursue them, LOL. He's insecure to begin with so this worked quick with him. He's experiencing self doubt right now, wondering what's going on with you and if you're gone. Trouble is, with an insecure guy like this once you turn around and face him or respond he runs again. Insecure men and players like to be pursued by women, it makes them feel better about themselves.